Sometimes I come here just to put my thoughts somewhere. I don't always publish them for the world to see, but it's good to get them out of my head and into black and white, a reference point to go back to.

All for Love!

Much is being celebrated this week in Montana as it is now legal for gays to get married. I don't have a problem with that at all and as a matter of fact, many of those shown in the paper and on the news I count as my friends.
I've said it before that it's ironic to me that a lot of the heterosexuals want to live together these days and the gays want to get married. I think if 2 people love each other enough to make a commitment, they should be able to! The couples cited in the news here had all been in long-term relationships together. I think it will be interesting, as time goes on, to see what their divorce rate will be. I heard just the other day that more than 50% of marriages end in divorce these days. Heteros really don't have it down now do they? So you want to quote me the Bible? Look up divorce. Look up cheating on your spouse.
Remember The Golden Rule. It knows no bounds, crosses all religions, creeds, colors, sexes, etc.
I am all for love!

Trying To Make Sense Of It All

As I drove home last evening, I pondered a thought that the whole world is mourning. And then I tried to recall when another human left this earth that had made such an impact on the masses. I honestly couldn't come up with one who truly touched as many lives. Laughter is a powerful thing and when someone makes you laugh, you don’t soon forget. Robin Williams was a genius comedian, loved the world over.

I am confused with my emotions. I did not know this man personally. Like most of you, I didn’t know all of the little quirks of this master-mind. We only know what we saw on the screen. Behind the scenes, we have come to realize, was quite another matter. How could we know his pain or suffering? How could anyone of us have helped? We couldn’t, yet I find myself wishing I could. If only….if only…the words haunt me from another time.

Ten years ago I knew very little about mental illness or what it is to be bi-polar, the manic highs and the deep, dark lows, depression that hits you like a wall and stops you cold. No one talked about it. No one really knew much about it but little by little it is revealing itself to the world. What an absolute tragic way for the world to open up to mental illness and depression. Will it take the death of someone well-known for each of us to finally open our minds and hearts and give compassion?

I was alone with my thoughts this morning which gave me time to think about those who suffer from addiction and mental illness. It seems the two can go hand-in-hand. What causes one person to be drawn to drugs and alcohol? Is it the rush? Is it a coping mechanism? Are those synapses causing such great havoc up there that one must seek out something foreign to calm them? Why one person and not the other?
We do know that over-use of drugs and alcohol can have adverse effects on the brain. I have a friend who is a caretaker for his brother because he literally fried his brains on drugs after the Vietnam War and now has drug-induced schizophrenia. There’s also an alcohol-induced form of Alzheimer’s. My Aunt had Alzheimer’s. She got to a point where she was no longer herself. Her body was the same, but her mind was not. She was no longer the person we all knew and loved, just a shell of what once was. Alzheimer’s is a disease of the brain, as is bi-polar and other forms of depression. I have to believe that once a disease of the brain takes hold with its powerful grip, you are no longer the person you once were. You do not have control over what your brain is telling you.

No one knows what torment Robin Williams suffered. No one knows unless they’ve been there. I have to believe that he and countless others like him have reached the point of no control, for they would not choose to cause such heart ache to loved ones left behind who wonder why.
God speed Mr. Williams.

January Haiku -

Jan 1, 2014

New year, new goals, strive.
Contemplate the positive.
Only looking forth.

Jan 2
White, calm, quiet, still.
Chickadees sing "chick-a-dee".
Montana Winter.

Jan 3
Roaring through the trees
Uncertain what it heralds
Wind awakens me

Jan 4

1985
Contractions, birth, joy, daughter!
My Chickie-doodle!

Jan 5
Cold, wind, snow, long johns.
Not a cold front any more.
A POLAR VORTEX!


Jan 6
Tails wag, licking tongues.
Awake with energy, romp!
A canine morning.

Jan 7
Lovely drive, sunshine.
Friends, create, inspiration.
A welcome reprieve.

Jan 8

Brrr! It's cold, prepared?
Freezing temps in all fifty.
Montana chuckles!

Jan 9

Sleep was not for me.
Besides being very warm,
Snore, snore, snore, snore, snore.


Jan 10

Don't take for granted
Love today, you do not know
What tomorrow holds

Jan 11
Strive to do your best
Each day brings challenges new
Good, bad, persevere!

Jan 12

Endeavor to be
the admirable you see
in those who inspire

Jan 13
Caught in what if's, why's,
I forgot to live today.
No more excuses.


Jan 14
No thinking today
Cannot do this Haiku thing
My head is pounding

Jan 15

Quiet, coffee, still.
No light over the mountains.
Winter mornings lag.

Jan 16

Cold, wolf, whirling wind,
Stay inside, freezing, winter.
Full moon names this month!

Big cold, quiet, ice.
These are names of the full moon.
Stay inside, cooking!


Jan 17

Life is fragile, short.
Don't be afraid to say it.
"I love you" today.

Haiku

I've been having fun doing haiku lately. Part of the "Do something for me" thing!
I really enjoy it for many reasons. I want to keep track of them, so I will do it here.

Dec. 23

Expectations peak.
Tempers flare and nerves spread thin.
Over in a flash.

A wise woman, who is my elder and a new sage spirit in my life, suggested I do a haiku every morning to get and keep the brain moving. It really does!
Sunday Morning Haiku

Sabbath morning wakes.
Sunday is serenity.
Calm, quiet, coffee.

Winter Solstice

Longest night, dark, snow.
Solstice comes, soul and soil rest.
Sunlight beckons still.

Dec 24

Howling wind of dark
No silent night to usher
Christmas Eve morning

Dec 25 Haiku

Parents sleepyheads
Kids bright-eyed and bushy-tailed
Welcome Christmas morn.

Dec. 26

Wads of wrapping, bows.
Leftovers stacked in the fridge.
Cleanup is sluggish.

When talking about friends and friendship, this was my response to a woman who, IMO, was putting too much thought into friendships:
I am a total wing nut. I wing it! I wing everything. Come as it may and deal with it all later, just like the shit piles in the coop and barn. It's truly gold, you know. It only looks like crap. Under it all there's so much life and possibility. You just have to sift through it after it sits and composts a bit. There's a little work involved in shoveling and composting, but the end result is really worth the effort.

Dec 27
Kids back on the road.
Foggy carbohydrate brain.
Routine beckons me.

Juliana's
On the road again.
Time flies when your having fun.
See you soon momma!!

Dec 28
Howling through the trees
Loud, nerves on edge, uneasy.
Branches dancing, wind.

Dec 29

Crisp, cold, hoar frost shines.
Serenity Sunday wakes.
Toasty fire, coffee!

Dec 30
Monday's here dragging.
Back to the grind with duress.
Hump Day Holiday!

Dec 31

Pause, reflect, farewells.
Father Time heartens let go.
Bid '13 adieu!